There is a sense of trepidation whenever I reach a crossroads at my life, but usually I have some form of control over which road I choose. This week, that is hardly the case.
Moving out of the home, moving to Prescott, moving to Phoenix, getting my GED, getting into IT, getting into a better job, getting promoted, and moving to Seattle. I think those have been the major crossroads that I have encountered up to this point in my life. And I drove towards that, and everything led up to the next. But I am coming up on a crossroads that could take me many different directions, and I am facing the fact that I have no real control over which I’ll follow.
What happens this Thursday, at 5:30p, is going to have one of (if not the) sharpest impacts on the course of my life. Anyone that knows me well enough knows that I have not always been friendly to change. I do my best to roll with it, but usually it’s something that rolls around a turn that leads into another path, and I keep momentum. This, however, could end up me skidding into a t-section, crashing into a wall and being left with picking up only some of the pieces and starting over.
It’s that important. And I can’t see the intersection. I can’t anticipate what is coming. I just know that whatever happens, I am either going to come out jumping up and down with such excitement that I haven’t felt in a while, or I will eventually collapse on the floor and just shatter, screaming at what powers may be as to why I was only afforded that outcome.
I am quite serious. That’s going to be one of the scenarios.
I won’t be able to look back at this and say I was either right or wrong. The only thing for certain is that the anticipation that has been building up to Thursday is well warranted. I just don’t want to be disappointed.